know + go

For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol. I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am a man who has no strength, like one set loose among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, like those whom you remember no more, for they are cut off from your hand. You have put me in the depths of the pit, in the regions dark and deep. Your wrath lies heavy upon me, and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah You have caused my companions to shun me; you have made me a horror to them. I am shut in so that I cannot escape; my eye grows dim through sorrow. Every day I call upon you, O Lord; I spread out my hands to you. Do you work wonders for the dead? Do the departed rise up to praise you? Selah Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon? Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? But I, O Lord, cry to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you. O Lord, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me? Afflicted and close to death from my youth up, I suffer your terrors; I am helpless. Your wrath has swept over me; your dreadful assaults destroy me. They surround me like a flood all day long; they close in on me together. You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness.”

Psalm 88 ESV

Do you know how you need healed?

“Yahweh claims the world as his. Everything and everyone belong to him! He’s the one who pushed back oceans to let the dry ground appear, planting firm foundations for the earth. Who, then, is allowed to ascend the mountain of Yahweh? And who has the privilege of entering into God’s Holy Place? Those who are clean—whose works and ways are pure, whose hearts are true and sealed by the truth, those who never deceive, whose words are sure. They will receive Yahweh’s blessing and righteousness given by the Savior-God. They will stand before God, for they seek the pleasure of God’s face, the God of Jacob. Pause in his presence So wake up, you living gateways! Lift up your heads, you doorways of eternity! Welcome the King of Glory, for he is about to come through you. You ask, “Who is this King of Glory?” Yahweh, armed and ready for battle, Yahweh, invincible in every way! So wake up, you living gateways, and rejoice! Fling wide, you eternal doors! Here he comes; the King of Glory is ready to come in. You ask, “Who is this King of Glory?” He is Yahweh, armed and ready for battle, the Mighty One, the invincible commander of heaven’s hosts! Yes, he is the King of Glory! Pause in his presence”

Psalms 24

Do you know Him who fills? When you feel the broken, do you try to paste the pieces together yourself? Do you pretend you’re okay? Or do you go to God? Just fallapart at His feet!  He will touch you & you will be well.

Know the Lord. Become. Belong. Believe. Partake of Real.

What is the food of God?

“Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” So they said to him, “Then what sign do you do, that we may see and believe you? What work do you perform? Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’” Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.” Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.””

John 6:27-40, 47-51, 53-58 ESV

What is God saying here in John 6? Ask Him. Receive from Him for yourself. Know. Go. & all out of Be-ing. This, is the life of God.

help’s here!

the first step to not drowning is to acknowledge you are drowning.

this seems silly. but imagine you’re in the ocean with no boat & no buoy. head barely bobbing above water as icy dark water chops threaten to swallow life, muscles screaming —exahausted from treading. hungry, hopeless, helpless.

wouldn’t your reality be desperation??

*sploosh!* a white ring splashes in cold water—a lifesaver tossed from above. will you grab it? or will you choose to drown?

 this picture just painted is all of us! we’re all drowning without saving, until we realize our need.

rescue requires humility.

the point is, the moment you start to feel the water, the moment you notice the black, cold waves slicing over your head, hang on to that realization! it may feel like a death sentence. so uncomfortable and painful. like something you just want to shut out. but the alternative is to die from comfort, falling asleep in familiarity (which is truly death). when  you are woken up, I beg you, don’t ignore the freezing karate chop waves. that awareness is mercy. we cannot be rescued unless we know we need help.

& all you need is a cry.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you don’t have to learn how to swim.

you don’t even need to hold your breath.

all it takes is one word—help. spoken genuinely. true repentance.

God delights to show mercy.

we can’t get ourselves out. no amount of money or “fulfillment” from things here on earth will ever satisfy or save.

help is otherworldly.

for many this past year or so has revealed the hungry sea, bodies freezing, nearly underwater. now that you know—how will you respond: a raw HELP, or choosing to go under?

I pray over every person reading this word now, that a spirit of humility comes over us. may we see accurately and interpret rightly. may we give ourselves up, not to the sea, but to the Seer of our souls! to the Rescuer. the ship is there. will you allow Him your hand?

God gives grace to the humble

James 4.6

pocket

what’s in your pocket?

I don’t mean your jeans or purse, but the space available. we’re all, in a sense, pockets, in that we hold finite, numerable amounts. pockets.

what’s in your pocket? what’s in your heart, your mind, what occupies your space & time? what’s in you?

 the Bible says out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. what’s in you will come out. what’s coming out of you, & therefore what’s inside? if you’re saying some not nice things, like complaining, worrying, gossiping, being mean with your mouth, go to God. because that is an indicator of an area of your heart that needs touched by Yeshua. out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks it says. be aware.

 what’s in your pocket? if in your literal pocket, you have, say a phone & keys, would there be space for sunglasses? probably not. what is there—the phone & keys—occupy the available area, not allowing something else like sunglasses in. in the same sense, we have limited heart real estate. you can’t have space for it all. if your heart is occupied by clutter—worldly noise & the din & chaos of here— you won’t have space inside for Heaven.

we must empty ourselves, to make room for Him.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3

heaven belongs to those who recognize their need to be emptied.

for every lie there is a truth. for every piece of junk occupying room in our hearts, there is a treasure longing to take its place.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2 ESV

we must identify the lies & in their place, look for that which is true.

we must allow ourselves to be undone, unraveled & start completely over. square one. only then can we be full of good & God.

 “Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:3-8

take some time to inventory. what’s within? pray—talk to God. listen. seek. ask. see & let the Lord deal with your interior. let Him empty out those pockets of earth trash wrappers & manmade things, so you can have room for Him to make His Home within.

Lord, would You empty us. flip us upside down & empty our pocket of everything crammed in there! please! all the lollipop wrappers & lipstick, old gum wads & crumbs… the junk, trash, trauma, sin, flesh, evil, me-me-me-me-me… empty us so we can have space to receive anew. we want heaven—YOU! get all the room in us. become our home. be our heart. we just want You.

FUN 🎉

tummy blender hill bender hair dryer screaming higher, rollercoaster adrenaline. black & white abc’s absorb tea steam bathes in afternoon sunlight cat on lap, book lover dream. tall friends of brown & green lead eyes up with their branches waving in breeze fresh air canyon view flowerswild & sparkly dew, hikers paradise. board game night camaraderie around the table laugh till snort, pee—the gang’s all here. travel high flying jet to new everything exotic cuisine like cuy bright geometric patterned shawl funky music hola que tal? adventure junkie delight.

what’s your idea of fun?

have you thought of the Presence of God, as fun?

the bible says in psalm 16 that in His presence is fullness of joy. better than the most desirable & enjoyable thing imaginable, is Jesus.

God is fun.

He wants to have fun with us.

have you ever spent more than a half hour around a young child? If so you’ll know their world is quite different from ours! Their world revolves around laughter & play. Good Dads love to wrestle with their children, chase them & be the tickle monster, make blanket forts, & pretend.

a childs entire existence can be summed up into the word FUN.

so if we’re the children of God, we are waking up to playing with our Dad.

He rescues us because He delights in us (psalm 18:19)!

 “Yahweh your God is in your midst, A mighty one who will save. He will be joyful over you with gladness; He will be quiet in His love; He will rejoice over you with joyful singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

“in the wilderness you saw how Yahweh your God carried you, just as a man carries his son, in all the way which you have walked until you came to this place.’”

Deuteronomy 1:31

“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”

John 1:12-13

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!”

Philippians 4:4

He loves to play with His kids. when we’re resting, we’re enjoying Jesus. when we’re enjoying Jesus, we’re resting. there is rest available today. it’s in the eyes of love. in the arms that carry you & the laughter—oh it’s in the laughter!

enjoy Jesus today, as Jesus enjoys you

today cascade

life is one breath,

one blink.

so let's embrace, even cubicle space. after all, life is now; this is it! there is no rehearsal, we are here, performance fit!

let's embark on a quest for the good. find the joy in all things and you will never be without in the drought. enjoy Yeshua.

& never underestimate the power of the small—pollen, seeds, a yes.

& may that seed given to you from heaven find a yes in your heart, like how fuzzy yellow pollen dot, carried by a busy bumble bee travels to populate earth with beauty. or a teeny vesselseed of new life finds its way underground, nestled in soil particles, ready to sprout and birth a habitat, an oxygen fountain, a branch dance in wind.

this all happens as that ache resonating in your veins, echoing on the stars, testifies: there is More! 

there's a reason the money's a void, the coins never change enough. 

there's a reason earth searches for her husband. 

we're not meant to be alone. 

so when your heart throbs, let the longing draw you up, out, to the arms of Father.

He is the More our hearts long for. there is a Love drawing us all. 

so belong to God in Christ. rest in His arms.

He's already holding you. Already Loves you completely. 

Love says yes to you today.

Love Himself invites you to dance, to be married, to sing a duet. give up your walls and your defenses.

Love says yes to you!

& even in the junk there's joy. we can laugh and dance! in the midst of mud puddles, Splash. in the midst of depression, Sing! because the God of Grace Loves: you.

today! we can look at the One who is looking at us. we can be seen & understood.

today is a day of rest. resting in Him.

you may be shuffling deadlines or chauffeuring kids, but there is still rest.

you may be hustling or homemaking, but there is still rest.

you may be flying airplanes, running with dogs, typing homework, changing dirty diapers. you may be commuting, headbanging, baking, mowing.

wherever, whatever the day brings, there is rest.

deep in our hearts, we can have peace with God in Yeshua. 

remember what He did—the work done. so we can rest, in Him 💙

pillow talk

You’re not like the others. You’re not like the sand, shifting and eroding, ebbing and flowing as tide comes and leaves. or star—born, sparkle, implode. breath, comes, goes. there’s grace laced throughout Your royal robes and burning eyes, leaving no trace of former scars or lies. You love to forgive, You love to forget—You don’t count my mistakes, or look at my forsaken state of mind. but call me beloved, found, Yours… all along. this false reality—me me me—ice melting beneath, nowhere to go but sink, is taken in a blink. when You look at me.

and taken, I am. Your gaze undoing every corner and crevice of things I thought I knew. unraveled, a puddle of yarn and knelt knees. I can barely stand that You would look at me. this love, so intense. I feel like rowing away. yet I’m drawn ever sweetly, stayed. can’t make sense of this, don’t even wanna. i’m this beckoning fits my longing like a gloved hand. here we are, together. I never knew I missed You till we met. this Sun never stops shining. this Guide never stops giving. this God never stops pursuing. i can’t get away from You, why, why would i want to? nowhere else to go. even if I leave, You love.

You don’t leave. day 693, still. the same. unchanged. unmoved. like gazing at fire licking air on crisp night, I stare, at You. You don’t get old and You’re never boring. like Christmas morning or my wedding day, how can this elation stay? yet You elaborate, showing me more, then more, somehow more love. right here, so present. how do You be this way? so unlike all the other lovers, who left, never stayed. who left me hungry, wanting. chip bags full of empty, air. staring into vacant stands. reaching for green paper to buy another new, same disappointment. an island of misery. why did no one ever tell me I could be free, for free? given everything—You.

*this is an excerpt from my book, Microwave the Moon. i hope it blesses you! Available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/040vdod

your days of youth & yawning are over…now is time for merit & mirth

beach carpet—hot, dry, composite miniature shell mirrors, pebbles, sand molecules. each tiny bit composing a yellow shore blankie. i splay on this mosaic—my own music a collage of millions of cells, of notes, dancing, making me. each atom a party room song & redemption long—longer than my eye can see the blue waves echoing off horizon edge.

here, i am.

You brought me here, a bookmark in time, a pause. a place to be—just You & me. so here we are, together, on Your island beach.

Your island beach where You take every memory every tear, each broken pottery piece shard and moonbeam shed from head hung night, You take all the mismatched & missing pieces, to make a mural masterpiece. You leave no second untouched, revisiting & redeeming all the atoms of me until the movie of my life switches genres from drama & trauma to romance—You.

You brought me here, the beach of healing. so heal me here. let us sit let us walk the water’s tip where waves splash & drip the sand dark, where sea & shore hold hands, washing, recreating the sand again & again like tide submits to moon, i submit to You my shadows, heal me here.

Your lavishing is longer than my languishing!

frog finesse

lily circle green bump leaps—flying through  air, flinging her whole self forward with one grand thrust—a royal proclamation of God’s creativity, wisdom, and beauty.

no one jumps like the frog!

zoom in on these propelling frog legs, made with denser muscle fibers and other special features that make a frog capable of leaping like no other creature on earth. frog, known for her strange leg strength, sings or rather croaks a frequency of God’s glory that no other animal created can.

the frog’s ability to jump unique & unusual is given from above just like from above an unusual & unique way is given each & every one of us.

everyone has some sort of special strength!

maybe great ideas come easily to you, or you’re able to fix anything. maybe you can pick up other languages without trouble, or you’re really good with numbers. maybe you can paint murals or run marathons. maybe you can make anyone feel at home by being friendly or you can improvise music.

we all have a frog leg.

if you’re not sure what your unique capability is, ask those in your life. they’ll know.

whatever your frog leg is—that attribute custom cut to you—use it well for the glory of God. can you whip up a mean pie? then bake your heart out. can you crack home runs? then win the derby. can you sing like an angel? belt it.

whatever your gift, don’t neglect it.

use it!

and remember, whatever your file cabinet of excuses could be (no time, i’m a mom, not good enough, inexperienced, no money, etc), God’s Grace is on you to leap!

imagine a frog who never jumped. now that would just be wrong. God didn’t give the frog hind legs for nothing!

so jump!

give God your all with what He’s given you. steward that special something to be what He gave it into the earth to be. don’t quench the image of God in you but let what He deposited into the earth through you be sown.

for the glory of the Son, shine!

let your gift leap!!

Singsong dancewed

the tree is laughing

all my hurt swallowed by music

i can’t stop singing

these battle wounds now

battle scars, marks

who testify—rebirth occurs

can’t tie me down

can’t cage these cells

the Breath Beginner

freed me

the Greenblue Marble Speaker spoke & stonecold death broke

flesh tent coursing, can’t contain, shaking

from fullness gonna overflow everywhere i go

my feet tap to His happy clap, their soles painted glee leave prints in minds & sidewalk squares. a simple song—Be Free

now a wave, now another, gush, asking to have me

yes! i say

thank you for proposing

my rainbow white gown drenched in joy watercolor tears. have me, ocean of bottomless sideless topless endless love

consume & partake

salsa bachata waltz twirl, love at first brush stroke You spoke & i am

You holy, divine, outside of time. all of life a mysterious romance—Your Kingly Self pursues clay us, poised to pounce the moment a flutter of one toe momentum moves toward Maker

waterfalls who no one sees

still relentlessly pour, in wood crevices and mountain treasure chests

come rest in the Garden of Design

lay down your time

surrender all bruises

put down those fists

you’ve been running but there’s a dance floor you’ve been boxing but He’s not keeping score

of your punches (that’s already paid for) so lay down and let the flower’s dew change you

given

look at the seed—it in itself contains the potential to become the plant (even the fruit!), but it must take time. it must take air, must water, must sunshine. & if it be submitted to this process of receiving & rest, growth will grow.

submit to Design & with time, submission will multiply into growth, into gifts to give others—shade, fruit, a home.

so become in the secret quiet. let the Designer take His time to make you fully Thine. discover the sweetness in trust & you will yourself become sweet.

receive the gift daily. receive rain. receive sun. receive clear goodness and the things given from above.

yield & allow Him to prune off all but what He gave—all but the seed—& you will be a pure, perfect bride of love, light—committed & consecrated, set-apart & all together lovely, for Him.

be His. & that which is planted, that which is given in you, will grow.

by the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

2 Timothy 1:14

for land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, & produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God.

Hebrews 6:7