the stars are trying to get in

unlit fire pit

forgot spatula

no meat to flip

my tent

rips

wind flips paper leaves

dirt carpet

catches trees’

sheddings

and my eye

drips,

salty, droopy

 hands

wait, black hole

head,

 poison crowdsurf thoughts

dead

drowning in illusions

unsure

not safe

but my flesh tent will be

okay

because

the stars are trying to get in

they knocked yesterday,

looked at my failing

estate, said “yes.”

then dropped their stations, to shine within

me

so I’m still camping

on this site with the port-a-potty and the squirrels

my camp grill’s lit now though,

I didn’t do it.

the rocks started singing and I

couldn’t help but

join in.

now we’re clapping

my toes tapping

I can’t stop

smiling

inside

 the lantern’s lit

hot dogs roasting

the forest still smells

like forest,

my hair’s the same colour

but now

I know Love

Himself

heaven here

the stars laugh from

within

I don’t recognize myself

but I’m glad

 to divorce old

this is so much

better

my joy container:

the sky—wide and unmeasured by human

eye

I’m a band

a regular symphony,

forever

colliding

with

now

your days of youth & yawning are over…now is time for merit & mirth

beach carpet—hot, dry, composite miniature shell mirrors, pebbles, sand molecules. each tiny bit composing a yellow shore blankie. i splay on this mosaic—my own music a collage of millions of cells, of notes, dancing, making me. each atom a party room song & redemption long—longer than my eye can see the blue waves echoing off horizon edge.

here, i am.

You brought me here, a bookmark in time, a pause. a place to be—just You & me. so here we are, together, on Your island beach.

Your island beach where You take every memory every tear, each broken pottery piece shard and moonbeam shed from head hung night, You take all the mismatched & missing pieces, to make a mural masterpiece. You leave no second untouched, revisiting & redeeming all the atoms of me until the movie of my life switches genres from drama & trauma to romance—You.

You brought me here, the beach of healing. so heal me here. let us sit let us walk the water’s tip where waves splash & drip the sand dark, where sea & shore hold hands, washing, recreating the sand again & again like tide submits to moon, i submit to You my shadows, heal me here.

Your lavishing is longer than my languishing!

free happy

clown. forced, fake, makeup caked, dressed to make you think of joy but on the inside a crying mess. farce!

—that’s all earth offers—pretend mirage happy like chasing wind, never full.

 All earth can give you is empty wind.

 “Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.”

Ecclesiastes 1:2-9 ESV

but this lie that can lead us to look for who is life!

because happy is real.    

genuine in out true happy. rainbow on rain joy! real happy.

a snail snails slowly along, happy as can be just the way he is—slime trail & all! no rock complains about sitting still. no cloud compares herself to lightning in jealous huffs. no, nature, creation, is content. so why do we talk back to Creator? why do we wish away what He gave? each one of us has a gift unique! if we would only stop looking around & instead find & embrace our specific dna. rock rock and cloud cloud, salamander be salamander and naked mole rat be naked & you be nakedly unashamed in Him.

a part of losing ourselves in Him is to discover the freedom of being happy. happy with how He made us because we are satisfied with His beauty. happy is not a circumstance or luck, chance or getting what we want. happy is Jesus, the only love and puzzle piece missing cornerstone without whom we will always miss but with Him, fullness and happy and life!

Jesus + Nothing = Everything!

Jesus says love your neighbor as you love yourself. if you grumble about any part of how you’re made, you’re unable to love your neighbor in that way…

you cannot give what you don’t have.

so receive love, put it on! & you will have ample love to give to the person in front of your face this moment, & the next.

because without love we are nothing.

we can do no thing on our own.

so receive love now. put Him on. because He gave, we give.

happy & free because Jesus died for me, i’ll live for Him in harmony! paid the price, came back to life, free. bought with blood, sealed with dove. I know i’m loved. so I sit in this rapturous goodness & grace, getting to multiply what He first gave me—love.

I looked high low, under stones & stars, all the places I could think but my heart still throbbing my hole still gaping, invisible flesh wound spreading & sin sickness killing.

until what I could not do myself was done for me, chosen by God on a wet cold skull hill, Love came down & rescued me. drowning was all I knew until I received the gift of lungs and took my first breath of Life.

happiness is Jesus is Gods gift to us. to be fully content in God. whatever you think you’re looking for, the answer is Jesus. until you surrender to His breath in your lungs, you will be stuck with the mickey mouse bandaid you taped across the bullet holes bleeding out.

be happy now when you fall down, lose your clowns—those lies masquerading as truth, & let Happiness Himself wreck & give and burn prune remodel your interior until it’s new. because until we unglue, we’ll never be who we’re created to be. so let Artist great have you. & the masterpiece He crafted you to shine will be.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”Psalm 16:11

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”
Philippians 4:4

water slide ride💦

twist, turn, splish, kerplosh, fall—into arms open wide!

grace is a lot like a water slide. God carries us to Himself. we breathe, hop in, and trust—going with the flow of the Spirit as He carries us where we’re meant to be, in Father’s arms.

 we obey though we don’t always see, following the laid out path to Father God, the end of it all a rapturous joy full of laughter, light and glee!

will you go with Holy Spirit flow, submitting and surrendering afresh each dawn, knowing Father God is worthy of our trust?

many children hesitate at the top of an enclosed water slide, afraid to glide. it’s dark. it’s down. they can’t see their Dad waiting to hold them on the other side; all they see is unknown and what if and scared.

but when that child finally goes, he finds his toes in water, whooshing splashing spurring him onward, forward, carrying him to his forever Father hug and the delight, the love, the affection of Him.

the ripple effect of discovering the goodness of God is increased joy, increased strength, increased willingness to obey—even when it doesn’t make sense. we must strengthen our choosing muscle by delighting ourselves in Him!

we discover, after going down waterslide once, that it’s fun! we want to climb the ladder and go again! submitting to God in faith and going on the ride daily is worth the seeming risk.

so next time you’re confronted by the unknown, just know: God is waiting for you on the other side of your yes.

 “Again we must reverse the familiar flow of our thoughts and try to understand that which is unique….”

AW Tozer

For we live by faith, not by sight.

2 Corinthians 5:7

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.

Isaiah 30:12

The Lord is my shepherd; I have what I need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.

Psalm 23

frog finesse

lily circle green bump leaps—flying through  air, flinging her whole self forward with one grand thrust—a royal proclamation of God’s creativity, wisdom, and beauty.

no one jumps like the frog!

zoom in on these propelling frog legs, made with denser muscle fibers and other special features that make a frog capable of leaping like no other creature on earth. frog, known for her strange leg strength, sings or rather croaks a frequency of God’s glory that no other animal created can.

the frog’s ability to jump unique & unusual is given from above just like from above an unusual & unique way is given each & every one of us.

everyone has some sort of special strength!

maybe great ideas come easily to you, or you’re able to fix anything. maybe you can pick up other languages without trouble, or you’re really good with numbers. maybe you can paint murals or run marathons. maybe you can make anyone feel at home by being friendly or you can improvise music.

we all have a frog leg.

if you’re not sure what your unique capability is, ask those in your life. they’ll know.

whatever your frog leg is—that attribute custom cut to you—use it well for the glory of God. can you whip up a mean pie? then bake your heart out. can you crack home runs? then win the derby. can you sing like an angel? belt it.

whatever your gift, don’t neglect it.

use it!

and remember, whatever your file cabinet of excuses could be (no time, i’m a mom, not good enough, inexperienced, no money, etc), God’s Grace is on you to leap!

imagine a frog who never jumped. now that would just be wrong. God didn’t give the frog hind legs for nothing!

so jump!

give God your all with what He’s given you. steward that special something to be what He gave it into the earth to be. don’t quench the image of God in you but let what He deposited into the earth through you be sown.

for the glory of the Son, shine!

let your gift leap!!

Singsong dancewed

the tree is laughing

all my hurt swallowed by music

i can’t stop singing

these battle wounds now

battle scars, marks

who testify—rebirth occurs

can’t tie me down

can’t cage these cells

the Breath Beginner

freed me

the Greenblue Marble Speaker spoke & stonecold death broke

flesh tent coursing, can’t contain, shaking

from fullness gonna overflow everywhere i go

my feet tap to His happy clap, their soles painted glee leave prints in minds & sidewalk squares. a simple song—Be Free

now a wave, now another, gush, asking to have me

yes! i say

thank you for proposing

my rainbow white gown drenched in joy watercolor tears. have me, ocean of bottomless sideless topless endless love

consume & partake

salsa bachata waltz twirl, love at first brush stroke You spoke & i am

You holy, divine, outside of time. all of life a mysterious romance—Your Kingly Self pursues clay us, poised to pounce the moment a flutter of one toe momentum moves toward Maker

waterfalls who no one sees

still relentlessly pour, in wood crevices and mountain treasure chests

come rest in the Garden of Design

lay down your time

surrender all bruises

put down those fists

you’ve been running but there’s a dance floor you’ve been boxing but He’s not keeping score

of your punches (that’s already paid for) so lay down and let the flower’s dew change you

miracle in mundane

oven mitts

breath in out in

mind logs memories in sleep

crisp air fried broccoli

rainbow promise

flowers smiling out window

forks

sky bright and blue

roof above floor below

the fact that we can change; our past is not our future because the cross is real

blood

Word

groceries

friendship

toes

(especially pinkie)

roots

opposable thumbs

colour

our skin holding everything in

every morning God painting a new picture in sky

indoor plumbing

socks

babies

Spirit of God choosing to make us His home

dew

day

night

rocks

eyes remember to blink

ecosystems’ designs

the fact that there’s still light at night (thank You for stars and moon)

pollen

the computers in our skulls

burp relief

gravity grounding us

atmosphere perfect for humans

the cut on my knee daily looking less like a cut

seasons

closet of clothes

cells, stars, stick bugs

mystery laced in all creation that draws us to our knees in wonder

healing from soul’s once brokenness

various spices

athletes, artists, musicians, teachers, mechanics, pilots, engineers, mothers, and plumbers—the diversity in gifts and the beauty of different

sunshine, warm and light, coaxing us to higher ways

today

cucumbers

truth

vision

rain

hugs

God loving to forgive

bread

life Himself

God, open our eyes to see You in everything! for truly YOU ARE. a million eternal three thousand nine infinity miracles in every second

word wash

the same water splashing as Jesus came up from his baptism is in the earth today.

the same water Naaman washed in and was healed is today a fountain still rushing.

the same water parted in the Red Sea when God delivered His people from the Egyptians lives now.

the water that carried Noah and his family in the ark, the water Rebekah used to give camels a drink, the water Jesus washed his disciples’ feet with, the water that gushed from our Saviour’s side… still flows here—covering ocean beds, flooding river basins, flushing toilet bowls, dewing fields and watering gardens, raining plant food and washing our sins white.

about 71% of the earth is water!

our bodies are somewhere from 60-70% water (it varies person to person). of all people, newborns have the most water percentage wise (78%). this is no surprise as babies are fresh from Heaven!

 the US Geological Survey says that the brain and heart are composed of 73% water, and the lungs are about 83% water. the skin contains 64% water, muscles and kidneys are 79%, and even the bones are watery: 31%.

 water is essential to life

§  water is a vital nutrient to the life of every cell, acting first as a building material

§  water regulates our internal body temperature through sweating and respiration

§  carbohydrates and proteins which our bodies use for food are metabolized and transported by water in the bloodstream

§  water assists in flushing waste mostly through urination

§  water acts as shock absorber for brain, spinal cord, and fetus

§  water creates saliva

§  water lubricates joints

without water we perish.

in the Bible we see it was already created:

the earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. and the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Genesis 1:2

for they deliberately overlook this fact, that the heavens existed long ago, and the earth was formed out of water and through water by the word of God. 2 Peter 3:5

what is this beautiful mystery we call water?

 Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese scientist, studied how the molecular structure in water transforms when exposed to thoughts, sounds and intentions. his findings point us to Jesus.

Emoto exposed water to certain words then photographed the molecules to show the word’s effect on the water:

as you can see, water is literally changed and transformed based on word. the same water from which God spoke and all things came to be, can still today be impacted today by Word.

if our bodies are mostly water, what word is shaping the water of you? are your water building blocks jagged, asymmetrical, broken? or are they symmetrical snowflake mirrors, eloquent and soft, beautiful and sweet?

whose word are you receiving? God’s good word of Love or satan’s lie of evil?

the beauty of this study is that water can change. we are made of water; we can change! or rather we can allow the Word of Heaven to shape us! the Bible calls this repentance, a wild and wonderous gift.

when our hearts are fertile soil for the Word of God to make His home, when we receive what God says, allowing His Voice to shape and create anew in us, everything changes!

 …the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. Habakkuk 2:14

let the tears you’ve wept lead  you to every drop of Christ’s blood and all the grace downpour raining from Heaven higher than here! there is a River. His Name is Jesus. He waits to wash you with Himself, the blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel! 

will you let Him wash you? 

all your jagged  jarring spikes and broken gashes of pieces and places can be made beautiful. just let Him have you. let His eternal water touch your rivers and oceans, and all your elbows and memories will become new like when He spoke everything into existence at Day One.

reborn! FreshWATER. a fountain wellspring exploding from your heart where the King Himself rests enthroned in the storeroom of snow, dew, rain, love inside you just waiting to water the world around you!

whoever drinks of the water I will give him will never be thirsty again. the water I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.  

https://www.usgs.gov/special-topics/water-science-school/science/water-you-water-and-human-body#overview

Dr. Masaru Emoto and Water Consciousness

given

look at the seed—it in itself contains the potential to become the plant (even the fruit!), but it must take time. it must take air, must water, must sunshine. & if it be submitted to this process of receiving & rest, growth will grow.

submit to Design & with time, submission will multiply into growth, into gifts to give others—shade, fruit, a home.

so become in the secret quiet. let the Designer take His time to make you fully Thine. discover the sweetness in trust & you will yourself become sweet.

receive the gift daily. receive rain. receive sun. receive clear goodness and the things given from above.

yield & allow Him to prune off all but what He gave—all but the seed—& you will be a pure, perfect bride of love, light—committed & consecrated, set-apart & all together lovely, for Him.

be His. & that which is planted, that which is given in you, will grow.

by the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

2 Timothy 1:14

for land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, & produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God.

Hebrews 6:7

how many times has God changed field’s pillowcase?

how many jellyfish jig dance recitals has God choreographed?

how many waterfalls gush in secret, cascading down cliffside mountain crag, hidden and glorious?

how many stars He’s named!

how many times has He vacuumed earth dew back up to Heaven, only for it to fall again when clouds unglue? how do lightning bugs lead dragonflies at night? how to be whale’s doula, or the tulip’s joy.

how many ant parades He’s led, how many birds’ songs He’s composed, how many baby birds He’s coaxed out of their nest for their first time to fly, or sunrises He’s painted, storms He’s sketched…

we really are ignorant of all these grandiose and important daily miracles! yet God conducts it all, from His beauty for His glory.

daily these hidden mysteries, of wonder and awe, are created and cared for by God—from whom and for whom all things live and move and have their being. & daily these hidden mysteries escape us. yet He still does them, all for Himself.

of all God’s endless secret beauty on earth, the most amazing to me is that the evolving hairs on your head are all numbered.

the tears you’ve wept, kept in His bottle.

the details of you, fully known and fully loved.

so let the God of detail and universe, ocean and atom, come after you. let Him hug you to life. because He lives and loves and longs for you to love Him, too.💙

Has the rain a father, or who has begotten the drops of dew? From whose womb did the ice come forth, and who has given birth to the frost of heaven? Can you hunt the prey for the lion, or satisfy the appetite of the young lions, when they crouch in their dens or lie in wait in their thicket? Who provides for the raven its prey, when its young ones cry to God for help, and wander about for lack of food? Do you know when the mountain goats give birth? Do you observe the calving of the does? Can you number the months that they fulfill, and do you know the time when they give birth, when they crouch, bring forth their offspring, and are delivered of their young? Is the wild ox willing to serve you? Will he spend the night at your manger? Job 38

The very hairs of your head are all numbered. Matthew 10:30

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent. For in Him the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in Heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross. Colossians 1:15-20

God perfectly knows Himself and, being the source and author of all things, it follows that He knows all that can be known. And this He knows instantly and with a fullness of perfection that includes every possible item of knowledge concerning everything that exists or could have existed anywhere in the universe at any time in the past or that may exist in the centuries or ages yet unborn.

AW Tozer

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.”
Psalm 139:1-18 ESV

party!

everyone is invited to The Party!

& once there, everyone has presents waiting…to be opened!

sadly, many choose to not accept their invitation.

they don’t believe the good news of acceptance so they ignore their invitation in disbelief. of those who say yes, many never open the presents given to them. some open a few presents while still leaving a pile of presents untouched. while the fewest group of all, are those who receive fully from the goodness of the Giver. they are of humble childlike meekness &, with simplicity, they accept the invitation to life & then go & open each gift given to them from Him.

which partygoer are you?

have you accepted your party invitation or carelessly tossed it in the garbage can?

to accept the free invitation to be a part of Gods family is good news! we are all invited! God says yes to us in Jesus! will we say yes to Him? He’s proposed. it’s now up to us to respond—in faith with simple agreement, or in rejection of free gift of eternal life.

if you do accept, GREAT! but it’s not a one time acceptance! there’s more He wants to give. He is the more; the more we know Him, the more beauty, more love, more everything good—More HIM—is received in us. but it is possible to receive once, twice, several more times…then stop. check your heart. how are you receiving from God *today*. not yesterday or tomorrow—today. today is the day of salvation! live one day at a time as each day has enough troubles of its own. each day is fresh mercy is fresh reception, fresh gifts given from above to be received from God to each one of us!

the gift given is not just for you.

to truly open a gift & to relish it, is to expand it—when you’re excited about something, you want to share it with others! the joy and the peace & the laughing all transfer.

likewise to ignore that present given to you, hurts those around you. if you’re grumpy, anxious, irritable, rude, it drags those with you to those low levels as well.

receive well. because God Giver—the Party Himself— is worthy.

God is the gift. will you receive Him today?

“Therefore let us draw near to the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help in time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16

“But don’t forget this one thing, loved ones, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like one day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some consider slowness. Rather, He is being patient toward you—not wanting anyone to perish, but for all to come to repentance.”
2 Peter 3:8-9

“For we know that if the tent, our earthly home, is torn down, we have a building from God—a home not made with human hands, eternal in the heavens.”
2 Corinthians 5:1

celebrate

from pit to party, God touched my life.

depression to dancing, weeping to wonder. from so covered in ashes that I was unrecognizable, to becoming beautiful.

God is good; I am living proof.

touch the love of God available to you, too!

the shift you’re looking for is right in front of your face.

there are shoes we wear, called seasons, & every sole has its story. thankfully, with Yahweh, even the broken bits get blessed—nothing wasted, everything redeemed.

whatever you’ve been through—we all have shattered—you’re one cry from fixing. one tear drop from all those pieces being a mosaic! just go to your Maker, look to Dad. He’s with you, in this, right here.

never be afraid.

& if you’ve read this far, know God loves you. He alone heals, He alone forgives, hugs, guides! whatever you need, wherever you are, surrender.

that breath in your lungs is opportunity. surrender to the One who breathed breath life into you & see—

He is light.

He loves you.

He is good, real, here.

may the same brokenness made beauty in my life, be given to you, too. may you see. may you dance. & may all the sad become untrue. if He did it for me, He can do it for you!