pillow talk

You’re not like the others. You’re not like the sand, shifting and eroding, ebbing and flowing as tide comes and leaves. or star—born, sparkle, implode. breath, comes, goes. there’s grace laced throughout Your royal robes and burning eyes, leaving no trace of former scars or lies. You love to forgive, You love to forget—You don’t count my mistakes, or look at my forsaken state of mind. but call me beloved, found, Yours… all along. this false reality—me me me—ice melting beneath, nowhere to go but sink, is taken in a blink. when You look at me.

and taken, I am. Your gaze undoing every corner and crevice of things I thought I knew. unraveled, a puddle of yarn and knelt knees. I can barely stand that You would look at me. this love, so intense. I feel like rowing away. yet I’m drawn ever sweetly, stayed. can’t make sense of this, don’t even wanna. i’m this beckoning fits my longing like a gloved hand. here we are, together. I never knew I missed You till we met. this Sun never stops shining. this Guide never stops giving. this God never stops pursuing. i can’t get away from You, why, why would i want to? nowhere else to go. even if I leave, You love.

You don’t leave. day 693, still. the same. unchanged. unmoved. like gazing at fire licking air on crisp night, I stare, at You. You don’t get old and You’re never boring. like Christmas morning or my wedding day, how can this elation stay? yet You elaborate, showing me more, then more, somehow more love. right here, so present. how do You be this way? so unlike all the other lovers, who left, never stayed. who left me hungry, wanting. chip bags full of empty, air. staring into vacant stands. reaching for green paper to buy another new, same disappointment. an island of misery. why did no one ever tell me I could be free, for free? given everything—You.

*this is an excerpt from my book, Microwave the Moon. i hope it blesses you! Available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/040vdod

your days of youth & yawning are over…now is time for merit & mirth

beach carpet—hot, dry, composite miniature shell mirrors, pebbles, sand molecules. each tiny bit composing a yellow shore blankie. i splay on this mosaic—my own music a collage of millions of cells, of notes, dancing, making me. each atom a party room song & redemption long—longer than my eye can see the blue waves echoing off horizon edge.

here, i am.

You brought me here, a bookmark in time, a pause. a place to be—just You & me. so here we are, together, on Your island beach.

Your island beach where You take every memory every tear, each broken pottery piece shard and moonbeam shed from head hung night, You take all the mismatched & missing pieces, to make a mural masterpiece. You leave no second untouched, revisiting & redeeming all the atoms of me until the movie of my life switches genres from drama & trauma to romance—You.

You brought me here, the beach of healing. so heal me here. let us sit let us walk the water’s tip where waves splash & drip the sand dark, where sea & shore hold hands, washing, recreating the sand again & again like tide submits to moon, i submit to You my shadows, heal me here.

Your lavishing is longer than my languishing!