infinite / finite \ infinite

my elbows & thought balloons, my cell smiles & hair slides, every heart flicker & each blink—they all fit inside Your palm.

so there they’ll stay—every piece of me.

& as You eclipse my mondays & decembers, i’m fine to be found in You. my little bits contained in Your eternal embrace.

Infinite Friend, You know no end.

i want to lose my drops in Your endless ocean!

teach me to stay in Your hug.

the unknowing

going forward in God is a lot like a squirrel with hundreds of hidden nuts. the closer you get to God, the more quiet you become, the more you live in the secret place, He whispers things to you & you no longer feel the need to tell another human, instead you hide it in your heart.

 there are things we think we know. but really we need to unknow what we think we know, so we can actually know. anything we think we know, we do not. & until we’re willing to admit & recognize we don’t know, we can’t receive a thing. but when our eyes are opened to see we know nothing, then we can begin to truly receive.

 what do you have that you did not receive? 1 Corinthians 4:7

go be His, Rest. know you are loved & let that love fill you to full.

 stars sparkle & shine in sync with Jesus. we’re called to shine too, but this light comes from being, not trying. rest & receive. then you will become, in Him.

know Abba. get undressed, take off, drop everything you were never given, so you can receive true knowledge.

bless, reflect the sunrise & live like light Himself dwells inside you

go, become in Him

this, is life. to know God.

but first we need to l o s e all we claim to know, all we think we have, so we can gain true. become in Him by submitting to Him & you will never lack, never fear, never be the same again. do you want strange, new, different? are you tired of thinking you know? then just fall down, where you are, & let Him strip you of gunk, so you can receive grace. it’s all gift!

this is what we need—to lose ourselves in Someone who desires to consume us completely like a fire, a fire of love. let Him have you.

 what do we have that we have not received?

seek Father

Light up cave—lantern burn

No

Salt air whips hair as I sail

Churning waves—eyes set on quest

No

Rocket to stars, singing in weightless velvet

No

Wood waiting, roots hiding

Sunlight sifts through

Canopy maze

Shadows waltz, a content quiet

A heavenly soup

Here?

A whisper—yes.

Pause—rest.

Be a moment, as love overcomes.

Seek God!

He promises—

 if we seek Him, we Will find Him!!

 Happy are those who keep his decrees and seek him with all their heart

Psalms 119:2

“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:13

Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And a voice spoke

1 Kings 19:11-13

Seek & you WILL find! Can it really be true? Can it be that simple? That good? Did you hear?! We can Find God! He’s Available to us!!! Not aloof, not impossible to know. But Here. Now. With us. Take a deep breath, & WOW!!! Let it sink in. Sit in the love.

It  is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter.”

Proverbs 25:2

God wants us to look for Him like He’s looked for us! His mad, relentless pursuit of us—choosing to come to earth in infant & die to forgive us—(what love is this!) chases us over hilltop & mountain side, up creek & down river, around our excuses & excusing our sin in Him. We’re forgiven so we can fear Him through humble obedience. Do you see? Then be filled with Him & live differently.

“There was a man in Caesarea named Cornelius, a centurion of what was called the Italian Regiment. He was a devout man and feared God along with his whole household. He did many charitable deeds for the Jewish people and always prayed to God. About three in the afternoon he distinctly saw in a vision an angel of God who came in and said to him, “Cornelius.” Staring at him in awe, he said, “What is it, Lord?” The angel told him, “Your prayers and your acts of charity have ascended as a memorial offering before God.”

Acts 10:1-4

Seek God through obeying Him. No act of obedience is ever in vain. God sees. God hears! God rewards those who seek Him!!

“Now without faith it is impossible to please God, since the one who draws near to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

Hebrews 11:6

Trust God. Rest. Look. FIND. Be found. Fall down. Be. Repeat!

fill this mold with jell-o!

Your Fire tickles my toes, flames lick each tip, lighting me to dance

don’t stop telling me secrets—whisper it all

I want to Know—the  flowers’ dress sizes the stars’  names & where the wooly mammoths used to find You in the morning. I want to know what the volcanoes know, and where is the rain stored? I want to know. I want to know You More. come close, I can’t breathe without You. everything else is mannequin mirage, crumbs & vapour, coming to nothing. The earth waits, for You. so make me pregnant—expectant of You. like Moses met with You, FACE to FACE — I want FULL communion! I can’t unsee You, i’m wrecked for anything anyone else But You. I’ve met the most beautiful One ever& now Only You will do. You Sparkle You outdress everything else. nothing here comes close, nothing even brushes the surface of Your glory! I wanna be Your house, live here, move in, tear down all the walls & barriers (especially the kitchen island) renovate, flip, wreck, remove even the memory of before. Eclipse it all Lord. break this house! though I feel so inadequate, You whisper: I can work with this. SO go to work! Demolition!! like an HGTV house flip, let the end result be so far from the beginning that people wonder. make me so beautiful, new, & different that only You can get the credit. I Love You God & I just want MORE!!! come here! Come Near! do not be far! when You renovate my house, can You build a dance floor first? when You fix my insides to be Your home, please, make a space for this, because all I wanna do is slow dance with You—the rest of my life until time expires & eternity.

Your Fire tickles my toes, flames lick each tip, lighting me

to dance

pillow talk

You’re not like the others. You’re not like the sand, shifting and eroding, ebbing and flowing as tide comes and leaves. or star—born, sparkle, implode. breath, comes, goes. there’s grace laced throughout Your royal robes and burning eyes, leaving no trace of former scars or lies. You love to forgive, You love to forget—You don’t count my mistakes, or look at my forsaken state of mind. but call me beloved, found, Yours… all along. this false reality—me me me—ice melting beneath, nowhere to go but sink, is taken in a blink. when You look at me.

and taken, I am. Your gaze undoing every corner and crevice of things I thought I knew. unraveled, a puddle of yarn and knelt knees. I can barely stand that You would look at me. this love, so intense. I feel like rowing away. yet I’m drawn ever sweetly, stayed. can’t make sense of this, don’t even wanna. i’m this beckoning fits my longing like a gloved hand. here we are, together. I never knew I missed You till we met. this Sun never stops shining. this Guide never stops giving. this God never stops pursuing. i can’t get away from You, why, why would i want to? nowhere else to go. even if I leave, You love.

You don’t leave. day 693, still. the same. unchanged. unmoved. like gazing at fire licking air on crisp night, I stare, at You. You don’t get old and You’re never boring. like Christmas morning or my wedding day, how can this elation stay? yet You elaborate, showing me more, then more, somehow more love. right here, so present. how do You be this way? so unlike all the other lovers, who left, never stayed. who left me hungry, wanting. chip bags full of empty, air. staring into vacant stands. reaching for green paper to buy another new, same disappointment. an island of misery. why did no one ever tell me I could be free, for free? given everything—You.

*this is an excerpt from my book, Microwave the Moon. i hope it blesses you! Available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/040vdod

liquid prayer

Closets of souvenirs—the trinkets we stuff the baggage we hide. Trashbags of teddies from ex’s, flesh chards from that internal forest fire in ’05, vial of the water coughed up from drowning, and our own urn. That’s what we hide. The ugly. The things we think if someone saw, they wouldn’t want us. Yet, that hidden scarlet letter is our passage point to the heart of God. To connect with the God of caring and kindness, let your wounds find air. Expose them to Him in open cries. Find the water in the weeping. As we let go—salty droplets, closets unhinged, downpours from drowning soul…He meets. He hears. He responds. He comes. He loves. He cries with you in rain. That flood of love waterfalling us in those heartbreaking soulaching screams… that flood of love overcomes. All the pain eclipsed by His love.

Those cries—the 911 of the soul—move the heart of God.

There’s some wounds only tears can find.